|Yet Often Taking That First Step is Overwhelming|
Today Claudia has gone on holiday with the school for 3 days !!!
Yes huge deep breath and lots of tears.
It has been such a difficult decision to make. I had the option of going on the holiday. Yet here I am at home having a could old fashioned cry.
Yesterday Claudia was crying. She was not sure if she wanted to go. I told her she didn't have to go and if she wanted, I could still go. She went to have a bath and a think.I really didn't know what to do or say for the best.
It came to light that Claudia was worried about her cannula coming out. So we talked through all the different options if this happened. Anyone who knows Claudia will be aware that she doesn't like injections and nearly 4 years post diagnosis will still cry when her cannula is being put in. (breaks my heart). Sadly I have to do this to keep her healthy and alive.
Needless to say Claudia's levels yesterday were on the low side. The hot weather was also adding to the mix.
This morning Claudia woke in her usual Diva Style. Barking her orders to make sure we got her to school on time for her holiday.(good sign)
I left her smiling and giggling sitting next to her friend on the coach. As I watched the coach leave my heart was happy in many ways, yet sad. A little girl of 11 should be care free without a care in the world. Yet I could see in Claudia's eyes there were many emotions.
School are truly inspirational. They have gone above and beyond any expectations I had.
Suffering from OCD and trying to keep myself busy, I think I may have slighty overpacked.
OTT! ????? I have sent her with the following:
5 blood glucose meters
2 blood ketones meters
4 finger prickers
2 boxes of ketostix
4 spare batteries
36 cartons of apple juice
4 large tubs of glucose tablets
3 tubes of tropical gel
4 new cannules
2 pens for injection
Emla Numbing Cream
Gluten Free Snacks
Plus all her clothes and toiletries.
I have no idea if I have made the right choice, by not going. I have allowed Claudia to guide me, giving her all the options. Only time will tell if we got it right. I am sure we will learn from this experience.
Type 1 Diabetes is so individual and so are our children. In many ways, that makes it even more challenging. What is right for 1 child and family may not be right for another. So often when we cross a bridge for the first time it can be very lonely, with so many options to choose from.
Donald my ever loving husband was trying to be chirpy and practical this morning. I was having a major panic and he was about to spout one of his "famous practical lines" I just gave him the look!! He started singing a song instead.
I am sat here glued to my phone. I hope it is only me, that is worried and Claudia has the time of her life.
Our next bridge to cross is September when Claudia starts High School.
No one prepared or even explained to us when Claudia was diagnosed, that every year would bring a new bridges to cross, with many challenges and often no right or wrong answer.
I am a very proud mummy. Hand on heart the selfish part of me didn't want her to go. I am not sure if I will ever want to let her go. It's a mothers natural instinct to want to protect.