|I feel better for that!|
Sometimes I want to scream and shout and let it all out ! Such appropriate lyrics to associate with Type 1.
As a parent of a child with T1 Diabetes, I have found that diplomacy, restraint and smiling through gritted teeth have become my strong points. I have a ready prepared speech to anyone who is lacking in T1 knowledge. It covers:
The genuine I want to know more
The confused T1 & T2
The stunningly stupid
The I have no idea what you are talking about
The rare person you encounter, who actually understands and knows all about it, oh the joy!! Auto rant switch off time.
At the same time I am writing this, I am having a conversation with Claudia.
It is a hypo conversation:
"Mummy look my toe doesn't bend". What Claudia ? "My toes doesn't bend". Claudia you are bending your toe now. "Oh am I", followed by lots of giggling, whilst nagging me for food, which she is now trying to negotiate to a lick of cheese!
I ask myself what could I have done to prevent the hypo.
So many options, free carbs, reduce her basal rate / carb ratio. Yet ultimately I know that on many occasions I have done all of the above and I still haven't prevented the hypo. After all we are trying to mimic a major organ that is influenced by some many factors, known and unknown. I have spent hours trawling through CGM & BG readings only to be non the wiser. Irritating to say the least. I usually follow it up with a huge cream cake and a cup of tea.
Whilst we have the latest technology a Medtronic Veo Pump & CGM it can become overwhelming for Claudia, having the option to "Champion Tweak" is so tempting. Often as I head towards Claudia and her pump, she will say, mum leave me alone, do you have to, for goodness sake or on a day when she has just had enough she runs off. I have to decide, do I chase after her like the mad demented T1 mother that I am.
I have just given in, she is having some cheese! Actually a huge slab.
Claudia is now 12 and we have some very honest conversations and I hope they continue. Although sometimes it can be heart breaking. It helps me understand. How do you answer the question why me mummy? I have no answer. All I can say is that we will do battle against Mr D together and it will never stop you from achieving any of your dreams.... but for goodness sake pick up your test strips and put them in the bin.
Claudia has just returned to school and is in year 8. Yes, she is soon to be a teenager. Watch this space.......
Our usual contact of text and phone calls have started. Claudia, "hi mum" you OK Claudia? "Yes, I have some new teachers". Are they taking good care of you? "Mum! I can take care of myself " So why are you calling? Huff puff and she hung up.We both get reassurance from this contact. It's strange as 5 years on I still have that sinking feeling when she is hypo/hyper if I am not near her to support. It is inevitable as she grows up Claudia will manage more and more on her own but she will always be my little girl and I will always wants to make her feel better.
Out of the blue Claudia decided that it was time she put a cannula in me and attach her spare pump. Claudia had a little panic before she inserted it, she didn't want to hurt me. It did sting for the first 24 hours and when I woke up in the morning I had to find the pump. How many times did I nearly drop it down the toilet(I didn't have a clip or pouch). It actually didn't bother me, which I found strange. It dawned on my why, in my mind and heart I knew I didn't need the pump to keep me healthy, so it didn't carry the same emotional impact. I had a choice. People living with T1 don't. I have agreed next time I will weigh all my food, carb count, bolus and take hypo treatments when required. Oh and I have to let her tweak my pump.
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