Friday, 18 March 2011

If Only I Had A Crystal Ball

I would be so much more relaxed and not suffer from paranoia!
Before Claudia developed Type 1 Diabetes & was diagnosed with coeliac disease. Then Isabella was diagnosed with coeliac disease.

I was probably always calm and fairly relaxed when any of the girls became unwell. I always watched carefully for a rash, but just treated the coughs, sickness, etc in my stride.

Things changed from the day Claudia was diagnosed. I understood at first, why I panicked at the first sign of illness and just constantly worried and didn't sleep until they were better. I thought this will get better in time. The fact is it hasn't.

Purdey has had a spot that has got infected, so last night I marked around the redness on her arm. In the morning it had got bigger. Panic mode kicked in!
"Donald, she has to go to the hospital to be checked". It suddenly hit me, I couldn't take her as I wouldn't be able to cope with any bad news and the thought of going to hospital was unbearable.
He looked at me, I said sorry," I just can't face it".

In my heart I new it was nothing serious, but then my mind flashes back to Claudia, 1 week she was happy go lucky, the next she was in a high dependency unit.

So Donald took her to A&E, it is infected and she has been given antibiotics.

Big deep breath, I went to see my friend Marie-Louise, who is amazing and completely understands why I worry so much.

Will I ever stop the random finger prick tests, when they other children become unwell? The honest answer is no!!
Does that make me paranoid ? In my opinion no, I feel it is only natural, when you have a child who develops a long term condition out of the blue, to worry when your other children become ill. In the back of your mind is the constant thought will they develop Type 1.

So I have accepted today that I will, always panic a little when they are ill and I will always check their blood glucose levels. I just need to find a way of trying to relax more. Idea's welcome.

Is it just me or do other parents feel like this?


  1. In my opinion, I think what you are experiencing is completely normal! As mothers, it's our job to worry. That's what we do best!lol On a serious note, I do random testing on the siblings too. I like to look at it as being proactive.

  2. No way are you being paranoid - I think we all go through this once we've had one diagnosis, maybe 2 or more... you no longer trust that its a 'simple' cold etc. i test my 2 non-d kids when they are sick. recently my middle child started wetting the bed. out came the random tests. i wish i could give you big hugs (***).

  3. I panic too :( I don't know if it ever goes away.

  4. I would love a crystal ball too.

  5. Angela,
    I appreciate the authenticity of your post. It is heart-breaking because that impulse to worry won't ever leave you, as it is freighted by your knowledge what could be. Sigh. I extend cyber hug your way and wish you continued courage in your life's struggles.


  6. I do the same thing. If we've had one diagnosis, we could have another. It's hard to get over that first diagnosis and go back to worrying less.