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| I love wearing sunglasses, they hide tired eyes & emotions. We just need more sun in the UK, as it's not a good look in winter. |
I suppose we have been "lucky" in some respects, Claudia is considered to have her Type 1 Diabetes "well controlled". Which I always struggle with as it is a constant battle/thought process 24/7. How can 4.9 one minute and 10 another be considered well controlled ?
Ah yes it's that lovely Hba1c/A1c that gives a % over a few months. What it doesn't reflect, is the chaos of every day life & numbers with Type 1 Diabetes & the game "Play your number right"
After a weekend of unexplained highs, followed by lows.
Today I feel like a rubbish parent. Yesterday, Claudia felt really unwell, yet there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. Towards the end of the day she felt better. This was followed by a night of lows, a sensor change/calibration.
Claudia saying "leave me alone"
The result 1 very tired Claudia, mummy & daddy.
It's those big sad eyes that look at you, saying please make me feel better.Heartbreaking
The only way I can describe the tiredness to someone who doesn't have a child with Type 1:
It's like having a New Born Baby Constantly, endless sleepless nights. Sadly there is nothing cute or lovable about Type 1.
I have sent Claudia to school. Her levels on waking were 5.9 and she wanted to go to school. I am sat here waiting for a call from school, wondering if I made the right choice in sending her to school.
In my mind:
Claudia wanted to go to school
She is in year 6 a very important year, SATs
Is it fair on school
Will school call
Should I have kept her at home
What on earth is MR D up to?
? Adjust Basal/Carb ratio?
I am not sure if this is just a 48 hour or if it's going to stretch into a week. The thought of being up all night for the next week is just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!
What is very striking is; Bella, Darcy & Flissy had 98-100% attendance at school last year.(harsh mummy) Purdey 100 % at home with mummy.Yet Claudia was 89% attendance, this perhaps reflects on how much Type 1 affects their school life.
So in an effort to release my frustration I have cleaned the house. The sun is coming out, so I will be able to wear my sunglasses!!
You're right. Diabetes is on our minds 24/7, and when our kids don't feel well or diabetes giving them a hard time, it sends us spinning in circles, trying to do our best, hoping we did the right thing, fearing, worrying, thinking, thinking, thinking... Wishing you some calm in the days ahead!
ReplyDeleteAngela I totally feel your frustrations, I have type 1 for almost 12 years now. Diabetes is a horribly frustrating disease and I am in a constant battle with it. I am currently battling my health insurance, they make my life hell. I have a blog on here, I am following yours. It is nice to know I am not the only one with these issues. I am fighting for the continuous glucose monitoring now. My insurance doesn't want to let me have it because here is it $450 US dollars for 10 sensors. I hate this dreadful disease and I am sick and tired of fighting it. I just wish for a cure in my lifetime.
ReplyDeletenot a "rubbish" mommy
ReplyDeleteangels surround you..just know that with my children are like yours..there was never a "we get one thing" scenario...so like you, we are celiac (2 of us)
MS (me so far) another with epilepsy..and learning disabilities and Asperger's syndrome(probably all of us) asthma as well..one daughter
Type one diabetes is horrendous..to deal with
you are a wonderful lady